


KleptoMarinette

by DriftingAlongTheWind



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Not much story, This is merely a crack fic, a bunch of stealing things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-06-11 18:38:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DriftingAlongTheWind/pseuds/DriftingAlongTheWind
Summary: Marinette has always been freaky good at stealing things. Now, it's time to go back to her old ways of stealing EVERYTHING. (She gives them back, of course)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic. Nothing more. Expect no actual big storylines. The events of this fic are based off of [This](https://mindfulmagics.tumblr.com/post/173866065418/the-thieving-saga) post from Tumblr.

Adrien walked into the classroom and found it in an uproar. He was in a good mood, but depending on what was going on, it might drag him down. When he saw Kim standing in front of Marinette with his arms crossed, Adrien started thinking of the worst. 

“Where is it, Marinette? I know you took it.” Kim sounded rather upset. Adrien almost started going to her defense, but Nino grabbed his arm. 

“Stay out of it, bro. This is something between the two of them.” Nino gave Adrien his best pair of puppy dog eyes, which persuaded Adrien to sit down, but not to stop listening. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Kim. Maybe you just lost it?” Marinette responded sweetly.

“Marinette, I know it was you. Alix saw you hanging around the boys locker room yesterday.”

“That doesn’t sound like a place for a girl like me to hang around.” Marinette almost seemed to be enjoying this. 

Kim huffed, and started walking away, when Marinette grabbed his arm. “You know that I always give them back.” Then handed him something that she had stashed in her purse. “Maybe you should change your locker code. You’ve had the same one for three years now.”

Kim looked relieved, and went back to his seat. Adrien leaned over to Nino to ask: “Did she take that from Kim?”

Nino nodded. “I’ll explain later.”

Class went by rather slowly, but it was still enjoyable. The teacher was showing some pictures, and one of the pictures showed a person in a very extravagant dress. Adrien turned around and started saying: “You know, Marinette, I bet that you-”

“NO!!!!!” The entire class shouted. Nino leaned over. “We don’t make bets with Marinette. Not since last time. Now keep looking forward and hope that you didn’t draw her attention by mentioning a bet.”

Adrien looked forward again, then looked back to Nino. “Did you do something with your hair?”

Nino touched his hand to his head, then slapped his other hand there too. “No, I usually have my hat! I don’t-” slowly, Nino looked back at Marinette, who winked at him. 

Nino barely spoke for the rest of class. Adrien wondered at the look between Marinette and Nino, but he didn’t want to speak anymore. When class finally let out, Adrien stood and started going to the door. There was a yelp from behind him, and something slammed into his back. Marinette had fallen into his back and grabbed onto his shirt for balance. She managed to stammer out an apology, then walked out of the classroom, putting on a hat and a large white shirt… wait a minute, that was Ninos’ hat… and his shirt!! 

How did she do that?

Adrien wandered over to his locker, wondering how he was going to explain to his father about his shirt. He opened his locker and did a double-take. His shirt was folded neatly on the bottom of his locker! 

“Hey bro, where’s your- oh. She did take notice.” Nino walked up behind him, wearing his hat again. 

Adrien gave Nino a confused look. “What is going on here?”

Nino gave Adrien a weary look. “OK. Here’s the short version: Marinette made a bet with Kim several years ago. At this point, nobody remembers what the bet was, but the effect was that Marinette started grabbing things off of some people. Turns out she has a real knack for it. Since then, Marinette seems to have made it a personal quest to try and steal the most complex items from people that she can. Her stealing your shirt right off of you? That’s child’s play for her. She always gives everything back. She has become very adept at stealing phones, as well.”

Adrien looked down, taking stock of what he had learned. “So, Marinette has made a habit of stealing things from everyone?”

Nino nodded. “And while we’re on the subject, I should probably tell you that your books are missing.”

Adrien turned and found that the only thing left in his locker was his shirt. “OK, when did she do that?”

**MARINETTE**

After Marinette had stashed Adriens’ books at their next class, she sat down and started thinking. She hadn’t meant to start grabbing things again this year, but Kim had walked in holding a wristband thing reverently, and her old instincts had kicked in. Then, Adrien had made the comment on making a bet, and things had taken off from there. Now, Marinette had to outdo herself this year. But how?

After Marinette had gone home for the day, Tikki began the expected talk. “Marinette, you shouldn’t steal things from people! It’s wrong!”

“I give them back, Tikki. It’s not like I keep anything. And it keeps my thinking sharp! I wouldn’t be as good at getting akumatized objects without these skills.”

Tikki gave Marinette an exasperated look, but let the subject drop as Marinette began her homework. 

The next day, Marinette gave the room a look that she hadn’t done for a long while. She scanned everyone involved in the bet (which, at this point, is everyone) and figured what she should steal. She was just getting back into the game, so she decided to start small. 

Nathaniels’ favorite pencil, for instance. 

Marinette had normally left Nathanael alone, away from the bet, but she decided that this would stand no longer. 

Nathanael normally kept this pencil close at hand, especially once the bet started. (alright, so it wasn’t the same pencil, but it was from a brand that Nathanael used a lot. It’s just an expensive brand.)

Marinette would have to be smart about this. Nathanael was currently talking to Rose, probably taking a commission. That meant that as soon as he turned back, he would grab his pen, and then use it for a good long while as he drew. Marinette had to do this very quickly. 

There was one thing on her side, Nathanael liked getting a lot of detail from the person wanting the picture, and he had only arrived a few minutes before Marinette. She quickly darted up the stairs, and ducked down behind the desk so Rose wouldn’t see her. 

At this point, Marinette had some of her Ladybug luck kick in. There was a screech from outside as a car slammed on their brakes. Rose and Nathanael both looked over, and Marinette sprung up, grabbed the pen, replaced it with her worst pencil, and darted back over to her desk as quick as she could. 

Marinette placed the pencil behind her ear as she sat, and went through the lesson as usual. When Adrien walked in, he had given her a strange look, but when he looked up at Nathanael, his face showed disbelief, then he quickly turned into his seat. Marinette looked back really quick, and saw Nathanael looking at the pencil in disgust. 

Marinette felt slightly bad by the end of the lesson, so she waited a second after Nath left the class, then ran up behind him and very carefully set the pencil behind his ear. This was the most delicate part of the process: placing the stolen item back onto the person. Marinette had waited until someone darted past them, stirring up a slight breeze, then quickly but smoothly placed the pencil. Then, she stopped and melted back into the crowd. 

Step one accomplished. 

Step two: Mylene’s hairband. Off of her head. If you’re going to make a comeback, gotta make it a big one. 

Mylene had gym class with them, and that was coming up next. This would have to be another fast one. Luckily, Marinette came prepared. The previous night, she had made a small piece of cloth with a cartoon of her own face embroidered onto it. (the embroidery was something she had been hanging onto for a while, for just such an occasion)

Marinette walked up behind Mylene, and in one swift yank, pulled off the band. With the other hand following close behind, she placed the other cloth on top of her head. She then held the edges just tight enough so that when Mylene placed a hand on her head to investigate the disturbance, she didn’t find anything wrong. Marinette let go and went to gym class, stashing the band in her locker. She would display it later.

Later, after the class was ended, Marinette threaded the band onto her clutch bag, so the pins were displayed. Mylene gave Marinette a slightly betrayed, and yet very impressed look when she saw it. She was still wearing the headband Marinette had made.


	2. Bad Things. Also an Akuma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is some more!!! A bit late, but let's not dwell on the past and my past misgivings. Let's focus on the future!!!!

“BRING ME YOUR MIRACULOUS!!!!!”

These akumas were getting really old. This one in particular. Marinette knew exactly where it was. Chat Noir knew exactly where it was. The whole of Paris knew exactly where it was. The Akuma kept touching it, to make sure it was still there. That would make it very difficult to get it. Especially since it was a bangle on the wrist. 

Any cage that Chat Noir could make would leave the wrist free enough that the akuma could resist them grabbing it, and since the akuma made minions through touch, that would be an issue. They couldn’t try to beat it down, since that could have lasting effects on the victim. 

Marinette threw her yo-yo into the air with her usual cry of “LUCKY CHARM”!!!!

A thin piece of metal fell back into her hands. The type that could be easily manipulated into a shape. Marinette looked around for ANYTHING that could be used, but she couldn’t figure anything out at all. 

That’s when inspiration struck. Marinette looked down at the piece of metal, bent it into a circle, then thanked Tikki. Apparently, the little kwami DID approve. Now to think...

**ADRIEN**

Adrien looked over at Ladybug in time to see her give him the signal for ‘keep the attention on you’ and then vanish over a building. 

The akuma was about to follow, but Adrien extended his baton and slapped it back down. 

“The lady has something to do. I shall be your Superhero for the time being.” Adrien gave the akuma a big smile. “Now, how about we play a game of ‘keep-away’? You try to get me, and I keep myself away from you.”

Now, the tricky part of whenever Ladybug wants him to keep the akumas’ attention on him is that he had to keep it in the same location. In this case, the location was a small street. Not much maneuverability. He had to keep his undivided attention on the hands. 

Adrien backed up the street, and saw a super quick flash of red. Hopefully, whatever Ladybug was doing was going to be quick. 

The akuma dashed forward and Adrien jumped off of the wall, flipping over the akuma. He landed in a roll and ended up next to the other wall. He whirled around, barely dodging the hand of the akuma. The gold bangle flashed in his eyes as it passed. 

Adrien extended his baton against the akuma, slamming it into the other wall. Adrien almost thought he saw another flash of red where the bangle was, but he could also have been seeing things. The akuma got back up, touching the gold bangle again. It almost seemed like a nervous tick at times. 

Adrien crouched, ready for another go, when something down the road suddenly crashed loudly to the ground. They both looked over, expecting to find Ladybug, but they found nothing. They looked back at each other, the akuma rubbing at the bangle AGAIN, and it charged, slamming it’s hand onto the wall where Adriens’ head just was. The red and black bangle was again in his face. 

Wait. 

What?

The bangle was gold before, not red and black-spotted. 

OH.

Adrien looked over at Ladybug, who stood in the middle of the street, releasing the butterfly, a smirk on her face as she commented: “Seamless exchange.”

Adrien was still thinking about it the next day, when Alya started gushing about it. She was talking about possible methods used, but Marinette didn’t seem very interested in the exchange. She kept glancing over at Chloe. 

They had just gotten into a large fight in the hallway. Chloe was mad at Marinette for some reason that Adrien just didn’t care. Neither did Marinette, if the way she just kind of scoffed and walked away was anything to go off of. Maybe it was Marinetes’ hair? She kept touching her pigtails. What was she thinking?

**MARINETTE**

Marinette was actually extremely upset, no matter how much she hid it. Chloe had called her hair “out of style” and “why did she keep doing it?” Stuff like that. Marinette kept it because she liked it. It was easy, and different. 

Now, a PONYTAIL, that was easy and not very different. Anyone could do a ponytail. Maybe Marinette should do something about that horrible hairstyle…

No, that would be too difficult. Chloe would notice if Marinette started trying to mess with her hair. Unless… 

Yes, that could work. It could work very well. A very wicked smile grew upon her lips. A small gasp reminded her that she was in the middle of a conversation. She looked back to see Adrien looking at her with a small amount of fear in his eyes. She tried to smother the smile, but a smirk remained on her face. Luckily, the teacher started the lesson, letting Adrien try to forget the terror of the look on her face. (Side note: He won’t forget that look for as long as he lives.)

This was going to be a very difficult steal. Not her most difficult. Marinettes’ eyes flicked over to Adrien for a split second. No, not her most difficult. But it was definitely up there. 

Step 1: How many hair products does Chloe put into her hair? 

This is a very important step. Marinette wanted maximum damage done. The hair had to be REALLY messed up. 

Now, Marinette is a tad bit petty when it comes to Chloe, so naturally, her method to touch the blond hair was to wait until Chloe was bullying another student before pulling on the ponytail. By the time Chloe managed to turn around, Marinette was already hidden in the crowd that had gathered, and by the time Chloe had gotten a teacher to listen to her plea that Marinette was the culprit, Marinette was already reading in the library. The perfect cover. Nobody would tell anyone. 

Chloe had some really weird hair. It seemed springy, but solid. Like a dense sponge. What does she put in her hair?

Step 2: What was holding the ponytail in?

Marinette might have to actually break something. So, she discussed it with Kim. She gave no names or objects, but Kim said that if the person deserved it, and if the item was EXTREMELY cheap, nobody would care. Marinette thought that Kim might know her plan. 

Marinette spent the next class studying the hair for all of about three seconds. It was a basic elastic band. 

Step 3: ~~Burgle~~ Break some stuff. 

Marinette couldn’t steal the hairband. That would be impossible. Not without Chloe noticing, at least. So, onto plan B. Break it off and hope that Chloe blamed it on chance. This wasn’t to prove a point, this was for revenge. Something small to vent some frustration. 

Step 3.1: Crowd

Easy, there was an akuma. Much easier (and more legal) than what Marinette was planning (Don’t freak out, just the fire alarm.)

Step 3.2: Sneak

Marinette managed to break away from Alya and over to Chloe without anyone knowing why.

Step 3.3: Break

A clean cut was too obvious. It had to look natural. So, Marinette merely reached out and grabbed the elastic with both hands, then yanked her hands apart, splitting the elastic. For whatever reason, it just LAUNCHED off of Chloes’ hair, hitting the wall with an audible smack and a visible scratch. 

What is Chloes’ hair made of?

Marinette watched in amusement as havoc was wreaked. Chloes’ hair EXPLODED up and around her face. Apparently, she had some very thick hair, and it took a lot of product to keep it in place. The downside to that is that after the initial explosion, the hair remained in place. Marinette took the shriek as her cue to leave and go back to Alya, who had also found Nino, but not Adrien. 

When the inevitable question of whether or not Marinette had anything to do with it, both Alya and Nino both adamantly said that she was with them the WHOLE time, and they always stay away from Chloe during crowd events. 

Afterwards, almost the entire school gave Marinette a high-five. 

Marinette grinned and smiled through it. They would definitely be impressed with her grand prize when she figured out the “how”. Marinette looked over at Adrien, who was chatting with Nino. Yes, they would absolutely be impressed with her next plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!!!!


	3. The Final Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is beginning to see something familiar with Marinette. And Marinette is making preparations for her final heist, the one item she has been building up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. I'm going to try to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, so I'm gonna end it here so I can focus on that a bit.

The school was now in a state of terror. Marinette was subtly avoided so she wouldn’t take anyone’s stuff. Even the teachers didn’t want to be too close. That may be because Marinette had stolen Ms. Mendeleives’ glasses, but that was beside the point. 

Marinette was scheming, and everyone knew it. 

The first time Marinette started doing this, it was random. But, whenever she started stealing after that, she had a master plan she was going towards. 

Everyone knew that she was planning something big to end the streak, but nobody knew what it was going to be. 

There was a black sheep in the crowd, though. Adrien, the one person who had never experienced one of these kleptomaniac moments. Because of this, he had been the victim of a few of her “attacks”. 

But he was also becoming good at stopping her. 

She tried the same theft she did before, and tripped in order to grab his outer shirt, and he somehow managed to catch her while also holding his shirt on himself. 

Marinette tried grabbing his schoolbag, and he caught the strap without even looking up. 

One time, Marinette seemed to be trying to get his shoe off of his foot. He didn’t raise his foot off of the ground for the rest of the day. Somehow, she still got it. The only time he raised his foot was… ah. When he was going down the stairs, and he had tripped. How was she so fast suddenly? How did she manage to get it? And then how did she get it into the limo without anyone seeing? 

Adrien sat at his computer, thinking about it. He had been tripped by a bag left on the stairs. What was the bag? Was it pink? Yes, it was. Marinettes’ bag. But Marinette hadn’t actually been close by, right? Where had she been? In the courtyard. She could have ran and grabbed his shoe, but he would have felt that. 

“I could have done that. It would have been easy for me to do.”

Adriens’ head shot up to look at Plagg. “What?”

“Yeah. Hang out in the bag, then when you trip, I’d phase out and grab your shoe. Then, while you’re distracted by the trip, dash to the car and phase through with the shoe. Easy.”

Adrien scoffed. “I’m kinda sure that Marinette doesn’t have a kwami. I mean, it’s like, one in two million, right?” 

Plagg laughed. “Maybe you can ask her about it tomorrow. Imagine how that conversation would go: ‘Hey Princess, do you maybe have a kwami? Ignore how I know what a kwami is, I just-”

“Plagg, I don’t think she does. Marinette doesn’t act like Ladybug. Ladybug is more confident of herself, while Marinette is more subdued, you know?”

“You don’t exactly act like yourself when transformed either, Adrien. I’m not saying that she is Ladybug, I’m just pointing out that I could have done that heist.”

“Yeah yeah, you would probably just eat the shoe, if your sense of taste has anything to do with it. Stinky cheese, shoes, stuff like that. Either way, it is time for patrol. Let’s go!”

Adrien called his transformation and jumped out the window. He jumped over to the usual meeting spot. Placing his baton on his back, he stepped over to where he liked to stand when meeting Ladybug. It usually gave him the best dramatic lighting, but Ladybug never seemed to notice. 

He stood there waiting for a few minutes, then decided that Ladybug must be at the secondary meeting place. He went to grab his baton, but found nothing there. 

“How does this work? It’s not laid out like my yo-yo.”

Adrien whirled around to see Ladybug holding his baton, looking at the pawprint. “Try pressing the middle section. That’s what I usually do.”

Ladybug tried to press the button, but nothing happened. Adrien held out his hand for the baton, then pressed the button. The baton extended to the ground to make a staff. “Maybe I need to be the one to do it?”

Ladybug nodded. “That would make sense.”

Adrien was thinking about something else, though. She had taken the baton off of his belt without him even noticing. Just like Marinette… 

And Ladybug had managed to sneak the bangle off of the akuma…

Marinette had done equally impossible things on several occasions, especially the time where she stole the hair tie off of Chloe. 

Maybe… 

Well, now Adrien was going to be distracted for the rest of patrol… and the rest of the night… and the next morning… oh boy.

**MARINETTE**

Today was the day. She would finally execute her final plan.

Today, she would steal Adriens’ ring. 

It is a loose fit, so it should be rather easy. Marinette spent the morning crafting a small hook out of a paperclip, then attaching it to a length of string. She would need at least three. 

Now, she needed an excuse to hold his hand. She tried not to squeal at the prospect. She was class president, but nobody was likely to be willing to hold her hand. Except that Adrien had been hanging around her during her rampage. Maybe he would be willing. 

Marinette walked up to Ms. Bustierre after lunch was over, but before class started. “I think that we should do something to help boost class morale. Maybe standing near each other and saying what we like about the person next to us?”

Ms. Bustierre lit up. “Maybe we can also have everyone hold hands, and hold up the clasped hands between the person talking and the one being talked about!”

Marinette smiled at her victory. After some minor complaining, everyone got circled up and held hands. Marinette was holding the hand that had the ring, and she started working at putting the hooks around the ring. When Adrien was holding up her hand, she smirked at everyone and worked the ring off in front of everyone while Adrien was still oblivious. 

The looks were all worth it. 

Once everyone went back to their seats, Marinette watched Adrien for his reaction. His reaction was very satisfying. Well, maybe for the first second. Adrien went to rub the ring, but when he found that the ring was gone, he started silently freaking out. He checked his shirt, and then started ransacking his bag. He turned back to Marinette and met her eyes. His eyes narrowed and he slightly jerked his head to the hallway, a move that Marinette usually saw Chat Noir do when they needed to quietly make a plan. Interesting. 

Adrien excused himself and left the room. Marinette waited a few more minutes, and took the time to examine the ring. Except, it wasn’t silver, it was black with a green pawprint- oh no. 

Marinette stood and almost ran out of the room, saying something about the bathroom on the way out. She stopped in the hallway, leaning against the wall. Adrien was Chat Noir? That didn’t make sense!! Did it? They both looked similar… And Adrien sometimes had a bit of Chats’ sense of humor… And Adrien was never around for akuma attacks… 

Holy crap.

Adrien was Chat Noir.

“Marinette? Can I have my ring back?”

Marinette jumped, looking over at Adrien, who was giving her a blank look, like he was holding something back. Well, naturally, Marinette supposed. She did just find out about his secret identity. 

“Here. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” Marinette held out the ring. 

“I know you won’t, my lady.” Adrien slipped on his ring, and a kwami flew out. 

“Adrien, what just happened? Why did I-” Plagg looked over at Marinette, who gave him a slight wave. “Ah, I see.”

Marinette suddenly realized what Adrien had said. “Wait, what? What did you call me?”

Adrien gave her a wink. “Well, after seeing your style as both Marinette and Ladybug, things became much easier to figure out. But I only really figured it out last night during patrol. Mainly because Plagg suggested it.”

Tikki flew out of Marinettes’ purse faster than Marinette had ever seen. “YOU DID WHAT, PLAGG?”

Plagg looked abashed. “I did try to make it more of a suggestion...”

Tikki just sighed and dragged Plagg away, leaving Adrien and Marinette alone in the hallway. 

“Well, this wasn’t as much of a cat-astrophe as I thought. I think it went well. You OK?” Adrien looked at Marinette with concern.

“I think so. Hawkmoth doesn’t stand a chance now, does he?” Marinette looked back up to Adrien. 

Hopefully, things would go well now that they knew each others’ identities. But Marinette had a good feeling about this. Yeah, this was only going to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND there's the reveal. I hope you enjoyed the story!!


End file.
